Writer’s Note: this is being posted one week late due to our daughter’s wedding this past week.



An interesting sensory experience entered my world of chemotherapy these past three days. I’m calling it chemo head.

Chemo head is the feeling that your scalp is being stretched to the point of tenderness to the touch. It leaves your head with a unique throbbing sensation, which is different than a headache. A friend, Andrea, who is a breast cancer survivor, aptly describes it as the tension of wearing a tight ponytail that throbs once you release it from being held in place. Except that this tension is on your head 24 hours a day.

Chemo head makes sleeping difficult as resting your head on a pillow aggravates the pressure of the tender scalp. Cancer patients are advised to buy satin pillowcases to ease the pressure points that come with a tender scalp while in chemo treatments. I am now on a mission to find this luxurious bed linen.

My oncology nurse warned me that there would be a tingling sensation that comes with chemo when your hair is starting to fall out. There is tingling to be sure, but this throbbing coupled with an extremely dry and tight scalp are different than what I was expecting.

I knew that this was the precursor of chemo side effects that would lead to hair loss. It certainly is. I have been losing my hair everywhere for the last three days. So much so, that they tell you in the cancer care "Look Good, Feel Better" program that once this starts it's wise to put on a head cover so that your hair doesn’t fall everywhere you go, particularly around food and kitchen prep areas. My hat wardrobe has been deployed.

Coping with a chemo scalp condition puts you in a quandary. You know you’re going to lose your hair and you debate about holding onto it as long as you can knowing that you’re moulting everywhere.

Cancer survivors have said that when the scalp throbbing starts they get a set of electric clippers and cut off what remains of their hair. The end result is that the clipping minimizes the throbbing sensations you feel as your brittle hair breaks off and comes out in clumps in your hands whenever you wash or handle it.

It seems counter-intuitive to get rid of your hair before it falls out. I did it anyway. There is something liberating about having control of how you lose your hair. With cancer little else is in your control. After three days of a throbbing scalp, I bravely took out the clippers and shaved my head. There was immediate relief on the old noggin! Amazing. I had a great sleep last night because of it.

Today I greet the day with a new “hat-itude”. I don my caps with a sense of satisfaction knowing I had a say in how I would lose my hair. I’ll shed what is left of my hair these next few days and continue my fight against cancer with Strength, Courage, and Determination.