I thought that after two rounds of chemo, I’d pretty much know all the side effects. I was wrong.

The third chemo cycle has whacked with a whammy.

Each chemo treatment has presented slightly different side effects from the previous one. With chemo #3, it’s been more than a slight difference on this seventh day of my treatment cycle. I now understand what other cancer patients say about getting through chemo and how it gets tougher as you advance through more treatments.

With the first and second chemo infusions, I would feel rough on day three. By the eve of day four, I was bouncing back to better energy levels and stronger emotional and physical health. By day five, I could feel that I was slowly starting to get better.

It came as quite a surprise that this third chemo session has hit as hard as it has these past few days. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, as medical professionals treating cancer patients tell them that chemo side effects are cumulative as more of the medicine stays in their system after each infusion.

Yesterday, I was one-third through this current chemo cycle. I have yet to bounce back to better energy levels and stronger emotional and physical health. I am now getting familiar with chemo fatigue.

As a cancer patient, you are well educated about chemo fatigue, but you really don’t know what it’s like until you start to experience it. I am now experiencing it.

Chemo fatigue makes you feel more than just tired. There is lethargy with chemo fatigue - a mental, emotional, and physical tiredness. There are times when you literally struggle to move your body, even if its just a few steps or climbing a set of stairs. Your memory tends to fail you with all of the chemo drugs in your body.

This third chemo cycle has redefined sleep deprivation in my life. I have never been a good sleeper, but it’s gotten much worse while living with cancer and chemo.

With the lack of sleep, a side effect of the chemo that has arisen is clogged sinuses. With this chemo cycle, my head has been stuffing up at the end of each day as if I had a bad cold. Overnight, I will reach points where I can’t breathe because I am so stuffed up. It forces me to wake up several times a night to hydrate my mouth. The ongoing “chemo dry mouth,” is now further compounded because of mouth breathing with clogged sinuses. The head cold symptoms do pass once I get up and move around.

Presently, a “good” night’s rest will have me sleep three solid, uninterrupted hours. Any sleep time after that is a bonus. The bad part of all of this is that I have never been a napper, so catching up on sleep during the day seldom happens. Maybe it will with advancing chemo fatigue.

Throughout my cancer journey, I have been emotionally strong until these past few days of chemo cycle #3. There is now an emotional frailty that has unexpectedly crept in with this third chemo cycle. The littlest day-to-day things can set off a river of tears that rise up in me from nowhere.

I’m also acquiring new fears because of the many treatment related complications that have beset me. I have to be selective in where I go in public places due to cleanliness concerns that can pose an infection with my chemo-lowered immunity. I also have to watch my contact with people who may be sick as they too are an infection risk, so my social life is affected. These concerns, when combined with the various chemo complications make me want to stay close to home, rather than be out for any extended period of time. Consequently, I am becoming more selective on where I go, and with whom I spend time.

However, one of the biggest whammies with this chemo cycle is the loss of appetite, which has really shaken me. Until now, I’d been feeling well enough to eat and enjoy most foods while undergoing treatment. This is a perplexing phenomenon for me. For a foodie, this loss of appetite is disconcerting. It comes with a reduced sense of smell and taste, accompanied by a constant acidy-metallic dry taste in my mouth. Many foods now disagree with me.

From when I rise to when I turn in at the end of the day, I have no desire to eat anything. I don’t have the smallest scrap of an appetite. My stomach hurts because it’s empty, but food is unappetizing—especially raw fruits and vegetables, acidy foods, and any kind of meat. I literally have to force myself to eat. For anyone, food is fuel, but its even more critical for cancer patients to repair chemo damaged cells with proper nutrition.

It’s a new chapter of struggle in this cancer journey. Each day, I make a vow to renew this cancer fight with Strength, Courage, and Determination.