I can say that intuitively that I knew I had cancer. My breast cancer surgeon even mentioned it during my diagnosis appointment. He said that he could tell that I knew I had cancer when he came into the examining room to deliver the news and treatment plan.

There were a few clues that contributed to my intuitive hunch. My family doctor of 15 years, with whom I have shared my life and kid raising stories, scurried to get me an urgent mammogram after I found a suspicious lump that was accompanied by chronic low-grade pain, which occasionally had a sharp, piercing pain with it. Breast cancer typically does not present with pain.

The mammogram’s inconclusive results were delivered in less than 24 hours. There was no calcification—usually an indicator of cancer. However, there was a mysterious mass that appeared on the x-rays, which could not be explained with a mammogram. This was the first indication that something more serious was present.

The inconclusive results made my doctor continue in her efforts to get me an urgent biopsy appointment, arranging for it while she was on holidays in New York. She called me on her cell phone to keep me up to date on what she was arranging. This was the second indication that something was amiss. She was also concurrently arranging care with a surgeon whom she hand picked for me. She wanted to alert him of my case and pending surgery she felt would be required, without the biopsy and results that were still to come.

The response of the radiologist during my ultrasound and biopsy was the third hint cancer might be invading my body. He confirmed that there was a mass during the testing procedures, and that it would need to be removed with some kind of surgery. I left the appointment in physical pain from the procedure and in an emotional fog, waiting to hear of my biopsy results one week later.

As my family doctor had warned me, the waiting for procedures and their diagnosis would be a difficult time until results were known. Sleep was a luxury; worry, anxiety, and fear became my new night time friends.