This past Sunday our daughter and her husband were wed, while on the same day our son and daughter-in-law took possession of their first house. It was a big day in the lives of our four kids and their parents. There was happiness and excitement all around for different reasons.
The whirling of the wedding weekend began on Friday morning. I was scheduled to go to the cancer treatment facility for blood tests to assess my red and white blood cell counts in preparation for my second round of chemo to follow two days after the wedding.
The oncology nurse who was to draw blood for the tests had difficulty collecting samples as my central port line had a blockage. I was injected with yet another blood thinner to clear a blood clot that had plugged the line preventing it from allowing blood to flow easily for the tests. An hour and a half later, the line was cleared and blood samples could be collected.
Prior to the blood tests, I had been feeling an indescribable fatigue on Thursday and again on Friday morning. When the test results were delivered Friday afternoon, the fatigue made sense. My white blood cell count was at 0.50, when it should have been at 1.2-1.5 to enable my second chemo infusion in four days. I felt frustrated and discouraged because my body let me down once again in this cancer fight—all the worse because our daughter’s wedding was in two days.
So with this blood test result came a new set of dire warnings and precautions. My body had very low immunity and was very highly susceptible to infection from day to day contact with people that one takes for granted.
My oncologist’s nurse warned me that with the wedding on the weekend, I was to restrict my contact with all people. No congratulatory hugs and kisses in a receiving line or elsewhere. No contact with people who had any kind of illness as simple as a cold or flu. I had to wash my hands often. Wearing gloves during the wedding and reception was deemed a positive move.
If my body temperature reached 38°+, I was to report immediately to an emergency ward despite the wedding, as my body would be housing some kind of infection that could be deadly if left untreated as I had very low white blood cell counts to fight it off.
If it weren’t for our daughter’s wedding, I would have likely been advised to stay home and rest all weekend to aid in elevating my white blood cell count.
Consequently, because of the low white cell counts, my second chemotherapy treatment was postponed for another week. I will have more blood tests done on Aug. 9 to assess my blood cell counts to see if chemo can resume as rescheduled on Aug. 10.
As well, I will now need to have another series of daily injections to boost my blood cell counts so that my chemotherapy treatments can resume to a three-week treatment cycle, and make me less prone to infections.
I will meet with my doctor this Friday to discuss the risks and benefits of the blood cell booster treatment, which will take place daily from days four to 10 in my next chemotherapy treatment cycle and subsequent ones to follow.
The Wedding Day
In one part of the city early in the morning, our son and daughter in law were packing breakable items into their car, and dodging downpours of rain while driving to their new home to drop things off and breathe in the rewards of first time home ownership.
Across town in our house, we had a hairstylist and make-up artist enhance the beauty of a bride and her maidens in preparation for an early Sunday afternoon wedding. Extended family loaded up trucks and cars to transport wedding flowers and decorations to the church and reception venue.
As the ladies were made more beautiful, the bridal parents and groom’s parents down the street watched weather forecasts on the Internet to see how long the rain was to stay.
On the morning of the wedding, it poured for several hours. By the time it was 1:00 p.m., the sun broke through the clouds and left us with a glorious Manitoba summer day for several hours into late evening when it rained again.
Our daughter looked gorgeous in her paternal grandmother’s 56-year-old vintage wedding dress. She smiled throughout the wedding ceremony at her handsome groom.
It was a day to remember and one that they will cherish for the rest of their lives. It was heartwarming to see the joy in each of their faces during the wedding ceremony and thereafter.
It was a day that was rife with all kinds of emotion. I felt elated and sad at the same time in not being well enough to feel fully present in experiencing our daughter’s wedding day due to weakness, low energy levels, and fatigue with my low blood cell counts. The heat and humidity added to the ill feelings. Admittedly, I was frustrated in being prevented from fully experiencing this big day in our daughter’s life because of my medical condition.
My cancer diagnosis was not going to prevent me in being present as best as I could during this wedding celebration. We celebrated with a wedding ceremony rehearsal and dinner on Friday, a traditional Ukrainian wedding wreath making ceremony on Saturday night, the wedding on Sunday, and a post-wedding garden party to open wedding gifts on Monday.
When it was all over, I was exhausted and feeling down for not being able to completely immerse myself into the fullness of the wedding weekend as I fight with cancer.
My dear friend Marianne put things into perspective for me in reflecting about the wedding. She reminded me that I was blessed to be able to attend the wedding after a cancer diagnosis, a mastectomy, cellulitis, and a wedding week countdown that dealt with a blood clot, blood thinners, and low white cell counts.
The Happy First Time Homeowners
As I write this blog, our son and daughter-in-law are overseeing movers coming to their place to load up a truck with their possessions to move to their new home. They have a lot eagerness and excitement in moving out of a rental property into an owned house that they can officially call their home.
They have chosen a 101-year-old character home in the south central part of the city. The home has been lovingly maintained and up kept. Several renovations and modifications have been made. The bonus for them is that the owners sold the house vs. someone who bought the house to flip it and make a profit.
In all, the kids looked at 250 houses via internet and real estate agent listings. They saw over 40 houses in person. The house they bought was the last house that they visited. They were in a bidding war with two other interested parties, but the owners chose to sell to them as they had no encumbrances with their offer to purchase.
Tomorrow, we will share in their joy of home ownership as we plan to visit them amongst their boxes and unpacking. The guys will assemble some new furniture that has been bought, while I will keep my daughter-in-law company while she places possessions in new places.
Unfortunately, I can only be a visiting observer in the moving process. I have to minimize my activities and need to be careful to not get overtired leading into a chemotherapy treatment in the next few days.
However, I will be in the midst of much merriment and sharing in the dreams of kids who are celebrating the satisfaction of owning their first home. It is yet another reward of being parents to adult kids who are finding their way in the world.
We will officially celebrate the ownership of their house with them on Aug. 20 during an open house “housewarming” party and tour they are planning for family and friends.
It has been a busy and heartwarming week. Living with cancer was put aside for a few days to celebrate the gifts of children and their mates in our lives. I live on with a new level of gratitude for the gifts of love, family, and friends in my life. With their help, I will continue my fight against cancer with Strength, Courage, and Determination.
Writer’s Note: this is being posted one week late due to our daughter’s wedding this past week.
An interesting sensory experience entered my world of chemotherapy these past three days. I’m calling it chemo head.
Chemo head is the feeling that your scalp is being stretched to the point of tenderness to the touch. It leaves your head with a unique throbbing sensation, which is different than a headache. A friend, Andrea, who is a breast cancer survivor, aptly describes it as the tension of wearing a tight ponytail that throbs once you release it from being held in place. Except that this tension is on your head 24 hours a day.
Chemo head makes sleeping difficult as resting your head on a pillow aggravates the pressure of the tender scalp. Cancer patients are advised to buy satin pillowcases to ease the pressure points that come with a tender scalp while in chemo treatments. I am now on a mission to find this luxurious bed linen.
My oncology nurse warned me that there would be a tingling sensation that comes with chemo when your hair is starting to fall out. There is tingling to be sure, but this throbbing coupled with an extremely dry and tight scalp are different than what I was expecting.
I knew that this was the precursor of chemo side effects that would lead to hair loss. It certainly is. I have been losing my hair everywhere for the last three days. So much so, that they tell you in the cancer care "Look Good, Feel Better" program that once this starts it's wise to put on a head cover so that your hair doesn’t fall everywhere you go, particularly around food and kitchen prep areas. My hat wardrobe has been deployed.
Coping with a chemo scalp condition puts you in a quandary. You know you’re going to lose your hair and you debate about holding onto it as long as you can knowing that you’re moulting everywhere.
Cancer survivors have said that when the scalp throbbing starts they get a set of electric clippers and cut off what remains of their hair. The end result is that the clipping minimizes the throbbing sensations you feel as your brittle hair breaks off and comes out in clumps in your hands whenever you wash or handle it.
It seems counter-intuitive to get rid of your hair before it falls out. I did it anyway. There is something liberating about having control of how you lose your hair. With cancer little else is in your control. After three days of a throbbing scalp, I bravely took out the clippers and shaved my head. There was immediate relief on the old noggin! Amazing. I had a great sleep last night because of it.
Today I greet the day with a new “hat-itude”. I don my caps with a sense of satisfaction knowing I had a say in how I would lose my hair. I’ll shed what is left of my hair these next few days and continue my fight against cancer with Strength, Courage, and Determination.