Three months ago I wrote my last blog, which seems like an eternity. Since August 15, my world has changed considerably. Work has entered into it.
I spent the last part of August and September preparing for my return to work. Work, like life, does not stand still. It changes, as life changes. My life, and my work-world have changed.
What’s different? Everything.
Returning to work feels like I have been hired as a new staff in a job I have held for over 10 years. The job I left has changed in the 18 months I was away. The way the work has been done has changed. The people I worked with have changed. The organization has changed. My manager has changed. My reporting structure has changed. But much more noticeably, I have changed because of my cancer experience.
My energy levels are far lower than they were before I had cancer. I tire more easily. Mentally, I am more taxed at the end of the workday because treatments have left me with some cognitive impairment, which forces me to have to work harder to do my job. I cannot multi-task anymore, and it takes me longer to complete a task. My executive function is also affected.
The large volume of work I once handled prior to cancer is a thing of the past. I simply cannot work that hard anymore. This comes as a big “reality check” for me, the over-working, over-achieving perfectionist.
I now have to admit that I will never be able to handle work the way I did before my cancer diagnosis. This last piece of returning to a life after cancer—the return to work, comes with another area of grieving I have to overcome. This grieving is similar to other aspects of my life that I have had to work through in living with cancer. I have to bid good-bye to my past as I usher in the “new” present reality.
In returning to work, I live with a new fatigue I have never experienced before. It is similar, but different to the fatigue I had with chemo. This one just leaves me feeling mentally exhausted and light-headed every night. It’s difficult to explain, but fellow cancer survivors will understand what I mean as many of cancer pals also live with this fatigue in their return to work.
This is all part of the cancer journey and the acceptance of a “new normal” life after cancer treatments. I can now begin to understand what other cancer patients before me have said; life after cancer is different.
But, I have survived and that’s all that matters. Every day that I wake up and greet the morn, I am grateful for this gift of a second life. It is precious.
There are no bad days in living with cancer, after coming face-to face with the possibility of death. Each day, I rise and meet the challenges that come with it and do so with Strength, Courage, and Determination.
Cancer and the Return to Work: The World of Work and I “Ain’t What We Used to Be”
EDITOR'S NOTE:
I am currently writing a new blog entry, which is long overdue since my last posting in late summer. My recent return to full-time work and cancer patient advocacy volunteerism has kept me steadily busy since early fall. Watch for a new blog update from me in the next few days.
The following is a guest post from cancer survivor David Haas who is a reader of my blog, and a writer of his own cancer blog. David’s sentiments are similar to mine, as I am a member of a breast cancer support group. The advice in David’s column is helpful to cancer patients and their caregivers.
Cancer Support Groups Can Really Help
By David Haas
Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Guest Blogger -
http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/
Anyone who has cancer, who is in remission or is going through cancer treatments, understands how traumatic and stressful this can be. Many people in these situations are afraid and confused about what to expect. While their friends and family are empathetic and loving, these people do not necessarily provide the information that the cancer survivor is seeking. The devastating effects of cancer often leave the people it strikes, at a loss about how to deal with the tremendous stress that these conditions cause. To make matters even worse, studies have shown that stress has a pronounced effect on how cancerous tumors grow and spread.
The American Institute of Stress indicates that people who get the emotional support they need have far less stress and are able to heal more rapidly. Less stress means a better ability to deal with the cancer. Emotional support can be from compassionates friends, family members, a doctor or from a patient advocacy or cancer support group. However, no one truly understands the devastating effects of cancer better than other people who are experiencing or have experienced the disease themselves. This is why cancer support groups are so highly recommended.
There are all kinds of cancer survivor networks on the Internet. These groups can be especially helpful if someone is experiencing a particular effect of a treatment that prevents him or her from leaving home. One need not be incapacitated to participate and enjoy online groups, however. Some people find it less stressful to use this modality to communicate.
Support groups that exist outside the Internet can help any cancer survivor gain knowledge about how to fight his or her disease, whether it manifests itself as mesothelioma, breast cancer, leukemia, or any other type of cancer. They can teach members about the negative (or positive) effects of the various treatments, and advocate for high quality health care.
Some support groups are peer moderated. This means that they are not run by members of the medical community, but rather are run by other cancer survivors who gather together to talk about their personal experiences and any new information they might have learned about.
There are also professionally moderated cancer support groups that are commonly found through hospitals. These are often run by doctors or psychologists. Both types of groups offer encouragement and psychological support, valuable information and opinions and direct accounts of personal experience, but most importantly, the opportunity for cancer survivors to experience a human connection and camaraderie.