Others have told me that the last piece of unfinished business in a life changed by cancer is returning to work. At 52, I am too young to retire and do enjoy working. Fortunately, I am going back to the position I left before cancer treatments. It is a time of eagerness and anxiety.
My gradual return to work will take place after the upcoming Labour Day weekend. Returning to work is the final frontier of assimilation in my “new normal” life after cancer. When I return to my job, it will have been 18 months since I went on sick leave.
A year and a half is a long time to be away from work. The workplace has changed, work colleagues have changed, my supervisor has changed, I have changed, and what is important to me in life has changed. Change remains a constant in the fluid world of work and life.
Like other changes I have made in my life to reduce the risk of a cancer recurrence, such as losing weight to lower the fat content in my body, adjusting my diet to a “super healthy” one, striving for 10,000 steps daily, exercising a minimum of five times per week, and learning how to reduce stress in my life, I know that paid work will also undergo change.
I will have to function differently in my job, as I am returning a changed person physically and mentally. My body mechanics do not work the same as they did pre-mastectomy.
I am learning to live with the discomfort, numbness, and limitations of cut muscles, nerves, and tissues. Tissues shortened from surgery and shrunken from radiation, have affected the functioning of my upper body, neck, and shoulder on the dominant side. Simple tasks like sitting at a computer terminal and using a mouse can cause strain and body fatigue more easily than in the past.
I tire much more quickly than I did before cancer. My hands and feet can get very cold and have difficulty warming up even in the heat of summer. My cognition, while improving after memory retraining classes, is not what it was before cancer treatments. Multi-tasking is still difficult, which by necessity, has taught me to slow down, work on tasks one at a time, and be more patient and compassionate with myself and my limitations.
Despite all of this, I am grateful for my life every morning that I awake. The treatment side effects are minor sacrifices to survive a cancer diagnosis.
Cancer has transformed my life in a multitude of ways—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It has been a journey of blessings and burdens, which I now am starting to see as gifts that have come into my life.
I anticipate that there will be more blessings and burdens when I return to work. Like all other aspects of my life in living with a cancer diagnosis, I will approach my job with Strength, Courage, and Determination.