I have always had a high threshold for pain.

I’ve had my spine fused for scoliosis, broke my sacrum, have had multiple surgeries, and got through natural childbirth twice without medication.

With cancer, the white blood cell booster medication’s side effects attack one’s muscles and joints, and are known to cause pain in the legs, hips, and back. The blood booster injections hurt, as do the blood thinners. There is also a burning pain that comes with the release of the blood thinner serum into my body. On occasion, I experience twinges of pain in the tissues and muscles surrounding my mastectomy site as it continues to heal from surgery.

I know pain.

I recognize when pain is upon me because of the restlessness that comes with it. It takes a pretty strong prescription to ease pain when it comes upon me, as my body can be resistant to medication.

When I met with my oncologist prior to my first Taxotere infusion, I was told that I could expect bone pain, especially in my legs. If it was only pain in my legs, that would be easy to handle.

Taxotere pain is different than all of the other forms of pain I’ve had in life. It has its own way of creating pain and testing my toughness. There are good pain days where I experience low-grade pain throughout the day. Then there are bad pain days when I feel like I’m 80 years old because moving is difficult. On these days, walking is slow, deliberate, and focused. Climbing stairs is especially trying.

The introduction of the Taxotere chemotherapy cocktail last week has become a new experience in pain management. There is more pain than previously experienced with my white cell booster medication, and it resides in new places including my bones.

I am learning to live with and accept the pain that comes with Taxotere. It’s part of the cancer journey and part of being treated for it. I now live with low-grade chronic pain in my joints and bones as well as a low-grade persistent headache, both of which have come with Taxotere. Cancer is not giving me pain; it’s the Taxotere and Neupogen drugs that I’m being treated with to fight cancer that are the contributors.

With Taxotere, there are days when each step I take is painful because the muscles in my ankles, calves, knees, hips, and hamstrings hurt. The tibia bones in my legs hurt, my hipbones hurt, my knee joints hurt, and there is fleeting pain in the radius and ulna bones in my lower arms. The degree of pain can escalate to brief bouts of throbbing or searing pain in my joints and bones.

The pain levels vary throughout the day, but tend to be worse in the evening. Tylenol Three’s offer no comfort, so out came the narcotics I was hoping to avoid. I’m trying not to use them as they render me unable to drive because of a fuzzy head, wreak havoc on my digestive system, and can be addictive.

Supposedly, Taxotere pain starts around day four (bang on with me) and lasts four to seven days. The pain was the worst on day four and day seven of this treatment cycle. I’m curious to see if the remaining two Taxotere treatments elevate or extend the pain as more of the chemotherapy absorbs in my body.

I don’t want anyone’s pity for the pain I’m suffering, just patience with me and an understanding of what I’m going through. There are days when Taxotere makes your world topsy-turvy.

Undaunted, I push through the pain and continue to walk on this cancer treatment journey with Strength, Courage, and Determination.